Understanding Shame and Guilt

It took me years before I came to an understanding of shame and guilt. My memoir, Following the Whispers explores understanding shame a guilt. There is a difference. Somewhere I read something that clarified my understanding shame and guilt: when we feel guilty, we believe we have done something bad; whereas when we feel shame, we believe we are bad. Shame makes us feel something is fundamentally wrong with ourselves.

This was definitely true for me. Understanding shame and guilt helped clarify things. I’d felt both shame and guilt since I was seven—shame because I was sexually abused; shamed by my father calling me names such as “whore” and “stupid, ugly, or no good”; guilt about my parent’s miserable marriage (believing it was my fault and feeling like it was my job to fix it); shame about losing custody of my only child; guilt and shame about leaving my child when I could no longer face the emotional distance between us and chose instead to focus on my own healing; and guilt because when I finally learned to stand up for myself, it invariably hurt others. My understanding of shame and guilt, however, enabled me to make more appropriate choices and decisions as my knowledge grew.

I now have peace and contentment for the first time in my life because of my understanding shame and guilt. Following the Whispers chronicles understanding shame and guilt and how those emotions impacted my life. Understanding shame and guilt is just the first step. Then one must learn not to allow those emotions to influence behavior. That alone is life-changing.

Want to know more about understanding shame and guilt? Get your copy of Following the Whispers today!